Second.

I'm not a "Daddy's Girl." Well, I suppose we have our moments here and there. But he forgets about me. He forgets about a lot of things. He concentrates on one path, and stays so caught up in his own little brain that he doesn't pay attention to the rest of the world, and what they might need. He loves me. But he wants to be in control. He's always been that way. Has to be the boss, has to make the cuts, has to decide who does what, has to make the rules. And if they're not followed, he needs to do whatever he feels he needs to do to make you understand that you're smaller. You don't have as much power.
There are moments where my heart breaks for him. Because of his destructive relationships, he pushes people away, and he becomes lonely. And then he seems like a little boy who's lost his way, and there's absolutely nothing I can do. I love him dearly. He means so much to me. But he drives me absolutely insane. He hates that we're growing up. He always talks about how he's lost me. What he doesn't understand is that that isn't necessarily because I'm getting older. It's because with my age, I come to understand what it is he does more and more, and I don't like it. She's not good to him, that's obvious. But he doesn't treat her well most of the time either.
I was having this discussion with my mother the other day; I don't think I could see my father with anyone who he wouldn't fight with. I think about Dad leaving my step-mom all the time, and how there wouldn't be any fighting anymore. But then I think about the last few years and how he hasn't been alone in a long time. He was alone for so long, and the thought of him sitting by himself in a living room, with no one to spend time with, his children with his ex-wife, after having been with someone all the time for so long absolutely chatters me. It would break him. And then I think, well, he might find someone else. But then the whole process would start all over again, they would still fight all the time, and I'd be sitting where I am now in a few years from now. And I mean, he's not exactly young anymore. What happens if they split up, and then that's it? He never finds anyone else. I don't know what he'd do. So, in a lot of ways, I want them to stay together. Because I don't think I could bear the thought of him being lonely, or sad. He says he's happy with his life. Sometimes, I just have to swallow my pride even in the moments where I know he's being an idiot, or clueless, or irresponsible, or mean, or controlling and just be there for him. Because I do love him. And we have more than occasional moments of father/daughter bonding. He can be gentle, and sweet and supportive when he wants to be.
But sometimes, I hate him.
Sometimes, I feel like I never want to see him again, because he's not being my Dad.
He's being my father.
I hope he ends up okay.
I love you, Dad.