I'm not as lost anymore. Not as confused or hurt or angry.
It's the new year. A chance to start over. And starting at midnight, that's what I did. There was this someone. This someone who had caused me a lot of pain what seems like a lifetime ago. And although so much time has passed, and I've forgotten many things, I never forgot how this person made me feel. I've never felt anything like it. Then or since. I felt small, insecure, worthless. I was the kind of girl who thought girls who let themselves get treated this way were stupid and weak. And then it was me. I'd never told him. I'm sure he could come to the right conclusion as to what I thought of him, but I'd never actually told him. I had moved on at this point, and he wasn't in my life anymore.
And then, like a lead pipe, he came crashing into my peaceful existence once again to open his mouth and say the idiotic things he was so well-known for.
But I was ready for him this time. And I told him exactly how I felt. Exactly how I felt about him, and the things he had done to me, and others. That he was worthless, that I deserved better, and always had.
It'll never be enough. I'll never be able to fully explain to him or make him understand what I went through. I don't think he cares enough. If anything, the victim here is him.
It's for this reason, that I really don't care. I hope he stays as ignorant as he is. Because one day, there will be someone who DOES care. And who will say more than I could, and make him feel the way I did.
Goodbye, heartless. You have no power over me anymore.
I hope you live a happy, fulfilling life.
Because I will, and I'm glad you won't be a part of it.
